05.17.16

Providing Support by Holding Space

holding-space_circle-1Over the past few weeks, two articles have repeatedly shown up on our social media feeds. After reading and reflecting on both, it’s no surprise that they continue to cross our paths. Both articles are closely related to our work at Firefly Sisterhood and both demonstrate the shared experiences of our friends and colleagues, many of whom are also deeply connected to the breast cancer community.

The first article is brutally honest, but also fair and appropriate, in its discussion of the impact of telling cancer patients which treatments they should be trying. The vast majority of women we serve share stories like these during our conversations. Unhelpful—and typically unsolicited—advice is a major contributor to the isolation and disconnection people with cancer feel, even when surrounded by a well-meaning network of friends and family. You can read the full article here.

It’s hard to know what to say or do when someone you care about is facing breast cancer or any difficult health condition. Are we supposed to be upbeat and encouraging despite a serious diagnosis? How do we remain hopeful without seeming dismissive? Isn’t it helpful to share ideas? In the end, we may say things simply to fill the space of an otherwise uncomfortable moment because we just don’t know what else to do or say to show our love and support.

The second article brings forth the idea of “holding space” for people: to come alongside someone without judgment, without expectation, and—perhaps the biggest challenge for those who want to be helpful—without solutions. The author shares not only why holding space is important and effective, but also eight tips for learning how to develop this important skill. It’s easier than you might think! Read about holding space here.

Connecting in a meaningful way takes time, commitment, and practice. But the more we can be truly supportive, the closer we are to ensuring that no woman faces breast cancer alone.

2 thoughts on “Providing Support by Holding Space

  1. Jane Overby on said:

    I have a mother-in-law who is the sweetest woman alive She has played surrogate grandma to my two young boys. She’s in her mid 70s now was diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast cancer. Two of her sisters died from Breast cancer. I pray she stays with us for a long time and continues to share her incredible joy.

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